Tuesday, 4 June 2013

Photo Phobia

Something sad occurred to me today. This is the lightest I've weighed when taking a holiday with my Husband since we got together 9 years ago.

Me in 2004 in Fuerteventura -  the holiday where we made it official!

I know that should make me happy and of course in one sense it does, I just feel like he deserved better over the years.

Florida 2005 - Our wedding - 5 months pregnant with Bailey

 I know he loves me 100% unconditionally. Seriously when they were dishing out soul mates, I hit the jack pot! 
Dominican Republic 2006
He has never commented on my weight and even at my heaviest he would tell me a hundred times a day how beautiful I was.

Lanzarote 2007 - 30 weeks pregnant with Jake

I have honestly never felt pressure from him to lose weight, maybe that's one of the reasons it's taken me until now to really get serious about it. Looking back, I am devastated I ruined so many family photos with my size. I was never comfortable around the camera and we have a lot less photos than I would have liked now.

Florida 2008

I just feel like he deserves to have the girl he fell in love with on the outside match the girl he knows on the inside.
Great Yarmouth 2009

As much as I want this for me, I want it for him, for the father of my children and the best friend I have ever had in the world

July 2010 - 38 weeks pregnant with Oscar at my brothers wedding on the beach

I am thankful he has never given me any reason to doubt myself and my appearance but I am even more thankful that I am on my way to being that girl again, for a man that truly does deserve making the effort for.

France - Bordeaux - 2011

So this is why I wont stop now, why I wont give up again. I don't just owe it to me to be that fit happy girl I once was, I owe it to the man who has stuck by me through it all.
I hope to come back from this holiday with some photos I feel worthy of and that I feel proud to put them on here, not ashamed
Egypt 2012 - This is it, the one photo out of hundreds that made me stop and decide to change my life

Okay enough of the mushy crap, back to reality. This week I am in full on holiday planning mode. Anyone with children will understand what a military operation getting ready to take them on holiday is. Washing, cleaning, packing, organising, shopping - it never ends.

So you know what's coming right? I have totally sucked at getting my workouts in. I have not been IN-active but I have not run or met Jillian for beating over the last few days. Food has been up and down but my weight is stable so I am ok with that. I am getting in the holiday spirit a little early and have been drinking wine most evenings so I really need to get my ass moving again. I also have my virtual 5K on Saturday EEEK - better get off the net and on the treadmill!
 Remember to Keep Pushing, Vicki x x

1 comment:

  1. Hey Vicki,
    Great Pictures! Don't feel bad I am not getting my workouts in this week either and and I am not packing for a vacation. You are right, we cannot give up now we must keep going. Each day is a new day! Hope you have a fun and safe vacation!